I had just turned 12 years old, and was so excited to get my temple recommend to go and do baptisms for the dead. I remember it like it was yesterday. The bishop asked if I obeyed the law of chastity. I didn’t know what that was. He then went on to explain what it was. If I had had any sexual experiences. If I masturbated. I didn’t know what either of those things were. So my late 50’s bishop went on to tell what those meant. I remember after that, I felt dirty and gross.
Fast forward 5 years. My high school boyfriend and I had sex. My parents found out, and automatically made me go in and tell the bishop. I did. He wanted to know every detail. And if I had an orgasm. And how I climaxed. The look on his face was pure enjoyment. I remember standing up and telling him flat out to Fuck Off!! I told my parents what had happened, and they didn’t believe me.
Fast forward again now married 19 years. I still have moments after being intimate with my husband where I feel ashamed and get up and get dressed as fast as possible.
The shame and guilt that those two different bishops had put on me, not only as a young child, but almost an adult, still eats in my brain as an adult.
I am so so lucky that I have found a husband who has shared this journey with me. We both left “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in 2007 and haven’t looked back. Our kids have never had to do any bishop interviews. I have also found that my children have more empathy, sympathy, and are more accepting of people from all walks of life, than those children raised and taught in that church.
The harm that the LDS Church does to people needs to stop. They are a reason why so many amazing souls have committed suicide. They are the reason families are being torn apart. They are the reason for the shame and guilt culture going on in lives.